Not The One"Not The One"
I was so hoping it
Was meant to be
When my eyes met you
You struck a chord in me...
You were golden tan,
With a nice body...
But I knew it was
Not meant to be
When I took you out
For a night on the town,
Took you for a ride
And spun you around...
The seat was too low
And the gas tank leaked
And I brought you back
To the lot downtown.
Written 15 January 2002
Satirical Classified AdsClassifieds: No matter how long you work, an ad in the classifieds never stops working.
001 LOST AND FOUND:
Lost: My mind. Please help! Call Howard at 1-206-555-3700.
Wanted: The beast in my dreams...the one that makes them loony! Call the cops at 555-FIND if you find him.
You are out there! The little boy who always says hi to me, but never told me your name. Please call the number above.
Auction at 13 Elm Street. Broken Voltron figures, dead cows, hockey masks and more.
010 WHOLESALE, RETAIL AND WHATEVER:
Lifetime supply of Sitagin, Just like the energizer bunny commerical! $40. 333-0000.
Money for sale! $20 bills only $26. Call 1-900-IM-CHEAP. Only $10 a minute.
011 APARTMENTS, UNFURNISHED:
A 1 room apartment with water, 1 3/5 baths, 2 windows, no pets allowed. Call 555-RENT and ask for ext. 3SHACK.
012 APARTMENTS, FURNISHED:
The perfect place! Brass beds, 3 temperature shower, working toilets, gold seed dish and more. Birdcage Ltd. 555-CAGE.
Weird.Maximillian flappitied his soft orange ears, while Jumbali re-adjusted his fluff. Stinky Jon farted, while Steve the Peeve searched for the conversay. Rrrrrrichard! told everyone to hold the position as Jumbali blest the open house. Chozo fluffed, Loser scratched his head, as Jeni got all of the Big Three.
Jumbali blest the open house, while Omega Red took off his tendrils for later. Chozo stinks. Where are you, you dirty liar? I dunno. Stop that crying in the rain, will ya!
Conrad was caught sniffing parakeets again. That's the third time this week! Suspicions have arisen that he likes the chewables best. We don't know why, except that they seem meatier. Or, at least they smell that way.
Getting out of my case is fun and easy. All you need to do is over and over. Then you'll have two names in one!
Hold my money tight. Don't let go. I need you closer. Move over. I see you everywhere. Where are you? You're online. I see you everywhere.
Got to turn around to boycott hell. Take the detour